Whether you’re on the receiving end, the giving end, or both, jealousy can be hard to deal with in a relationship. This can go double for people in long-distance relationships. These relationships require lots of trust, patience, and communication, which means couples must learn to manage excessive jealousy to remain healthy.
If you’re struggling with jealousy in your long-distance relationship, check out these tips and techniques to identity and squash these negative feelings before they take over.
Read the warning signs
When jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, it usually occurs slowly and subtly. The best way to tackle jealousy is to confront it at the beginning before it has a chance to take over. If your partner becomes excessively upset when you miss a call, hang out with friends, or partake in any activity without telling them, it might be time to have a conversation about boundaries.
Jealousy often stems from the fear that one partner is pulling away, so the other becomes scared and holds on tighter, often to the detriment of the relationship. To nip this in the bud, set up a schedule or plan with your significant other. By setting aside a certain amount of time per day or per week to call or have a virtual date night, there is less uncertainty around when you’ll hear from each other or how much time you will spend together.
Ask yourself good questions, give yourself good answers
If you’re the one in the relationship struggling with your own feelings of jealousy, don’t let your imagination run wild. When you don’t see your partner regularly, it’s normal to start wondering where they are, what they’re up to, and who they’re seeing. Before you craft too many scenarios of infidelity in your head, take a deep breath.
If you are feeling jealous
First, ask yourself questions to map out if there are any concrete actions from your partner that are making you feel jealous or insecure. If there are, speak with them and work together to find ways to validate and assure each other of the strength of the relationship. If your partner hasn’t given you any reasons to fear, consider where your insecurities are stemming from and how you can work on your own confidence and self esteem.
If your partner is feeling jealous
Being on the receiving end of jealousy can be just as frustrating as feeling jealous yourself. No one wants to feel that their partner doesn’t trust them, and accusations or insinuations of infidelity can leave anyone feeling helpless. So how can you get through to your jealous partner?
To gain clarity on the situation, the first step is to listen. Has your partner shared that you have given them reason to feel jealous, even inadvertently? Sometimes this can look like missing calls, skipping date nights, or forgetting to update your partner on big events or moments in your life.
Other times, it might not be your actions that inspire jealousy, but your inaction. This can include not asking them questions about their day, not initiating conversations, or showing a general lack of initiative in the relationship. To you, this could be the result of a busy week, but for your partner it may appear to be the result of a lack of interest or commitment to the relationship.
Having the talk
Regardless of what side you’re on, honest communication between yourself and your partner can ensure you get to the source of the jealousy. By first searching within yourself, then asking for help from your partner, you can collaborate to establish boundaries and habits that keep both of you on the same page.
Remember that every situation is different, and these are just general guidelines. If you’re looking for more insight, confide in a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can set you on the right path. Long-distance relationships can be tough, and jealousy can become highly toxic, so do your best to remember that, in relationships, you can’t change the behavior of others, but you can change your own attitude, actions, and conscientiousness.
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