Skip to main content

Feeling jealous? How to avoid a toxic relationship

For such a common problem, jealousy can be extremely difficult to solve. Whether it’s your own or your partner’s, excessive suspicion and envy can turn the strongest relationships into a toxic situation. In other words, jealousy is just like a bad houseguest: it arrives easily but is tough to get rid of.

Where does jealousy come from? And what makes it rear its ugly head? And, most importantly, what can we do to better control it?
A jealous couple on their phones

Related Videos

Where does jealousy come from, and why is it here?

Before we dive too deeply into the details, note that even a small amount of jealousy in a relationship is normal and natural. When you care for anyone deeply, whether it’s a significant other, friend, or family member, you want to spend as much time with them as possible. Any threat to this quality time can cause resentment and incite us to lash out. Long story short, jealousy is hard-wired in our brains as an urge to protect ourselves and stay bonded to our partner.

Nevertheless, when jealousy is more than just a fleeting emotion or out-of-character flare-up, it can pose substantial problems to both partners.

Fizkes/Shutterstock

Insecurity

Insecurity is the most frequent source of jealousy and has the power to sour even the sweetest relationship.

When one or both people in the relationship have low self-esteem, it can lead to fears about not being “enough” for their partner. This insecurity can make someone hyperaware of how their partner is acting, as they persistently look for a hint of estrangement. In fear, they’ll hold on tighter and act out because they fear they will lose the person that means so much to them.

Here are some ways to stop the negative feedback loop and put jealous feelings into the proper perspective.

How to deal with jealousy in a relationship

Jealousy can be a difficult beast to tame. Once a person is in the throes of jealousy, it can be a challenge to differentiate between your insecurities and anxieties and any actual problematic actions from your partner. As with many problems, no magic bullet exists. Luckily, however, there are tips and techniques you can use to improve the way you communicate your feelings and anxieties.

Don’t turn jealous thoughts into destructive actions: Jealousy is a strong emotion and can push you toward confrontation or engaging in destructive behaviors like spying on your partner. Instead of losing trust or lashing out against your partner, use this as an opportunity to practice honesty. Tell them how you are feeling and talk through actions the both of you can take to give each other validation.

Let old wounds go: Often jealousy has much to do with the scars of infidelity and instability in previous relationships. It’s far easier said than done, but try to remind yourself that there’s no reason to compare your old flames with your current squeeze. Be honest with your partner, and share what actions, phrases, and situations trigger you. This way, you can work together to avoid these pitfalls.

A couple talks about jealousy
Julia 585/Shutterstock

Jealousy can cause deep wounds in a relationship, but deft, diplomatic communication can make a big difference.

Ideally, this will clear the air and pave the way for a happy relationship moving forward. If it doesn’t, at least you know you put your best foot forward and didn’t allow jealousy to play a role in damaging or ending a partnership. A healthy relationship is built upon trust, communication, and empathy. If these aspects continue to lack in your relationship, seek individual or couples counseling. A professional can work with you to create a plan to manage your insecurities and anxieties, leading to a stronger relationship built on mutual trust and validation.

Disclaimer: BlissMark provides information regarding health, wellness, and beauty. The information within this article is not intended to be medical advice. Before starting any diet or exercise routine, consult your physician. If you don’t have a primary care physician, the United States Health & Human Services department has a free online tool that can help you locate a clinic in your area. We are not medical professionals, have not verified or vetted any programs, and in no way intend our content to be anything more than informative and inspiring.

Editors' Recommendations

Perfect items for pregnancy
unknown walking benefits woman getting restful sleep

When developing new life into this world, your entire world flips upside down. We’re not just talking about raising a child into the best version of themselves, but before that step even comes, aka the pregnancy. There are so many do’s and don’ts when it comes to pregnancy that it can be overwhelming at times.

But we want to show you some comforting products that will make sure this wondrous process is the best. Whether you’re finding it difficult to shower or don’t have the lumbar support you need when sitting, we have everything you could need. Check out how to get started below.

Read more
Essential items for foot care
person stretching their toe and heel

Here are some essential items we need for proper foot care. We often take our feet for granted. We wear tight shoes that constrict our toes and provide little if any air circulation. Is it any wonder we often have problems with our toe nails? There are several things that can make toe nails tough to cut. Certain physical conditions like diabetes can lead to thicker nails. Fungus growth can make nails not only thick, but also uneven. The pressure from tight shoes can create pressure and the start of ingrown toenails. All these problems need to be addressed and making sure we have a habit of frequent foot care is a good idea for our health.

Here are some essential items we may need to help us care for our feet and toenails.

Read more
Beauty products for your personal needs
the best face oil for glowing skin

Sometimes it is hard for people to dedicate time to pamper their bodies. Sometimes showering and taking a bath is not enough to keep your body pampered. It requires time and effort. Such as waxing your legs, clipping your nails, and cleaning your teeth. Do you know that plaque can build up around your teeth? Do you also know that your nails can grow in, which usually happens with your toes? The body does not only need to bathe but to keep the nails and teeth well kept. It is also great for the face to wash it daily and moisturize it daily.

You need certain items to pamper your body, and it keeps well-kept besides bathing it. Sometimes your skin needs to heal or be moisturized. Your nails need to be cut constantly to avoid any possibilities of usually a painful ingrown toenail or ingrown fingernail. It is the same way how to handle your teeth with extra care. There is something called plaque that builds up around your teeth. Plaque can give you the possibility of bleeding gums and tooth decay, which results in a toothache. Dental flaws and a dental tool that removes plaque will help you prevent having gum diseases and tooth decay.

Read more